The Casual Reporter: Nik Receives Wedgy of the Century

Sunday, August 3, 2008

Nik Receives Wedgy of the Century

I've never seen a more severe wedgy in my life.

The Green River cowboy had just won the Pony Express race. Nik, Green River's clown for the night, capped off the audience cheer with his trademark backwards pratfall off the ranch rails into the arena while Gene, an Indian playing "dancer" for the evening, was at his post in front of the downstage doors.

As I explained to the audience the rules for the the Rescue Relay race, I noticed Gene trot over to Nik and start rough-housing with him in the arena. As Nik tried to climb out of the arena into the Green River ranch, Gene pulled Nik back down by his clown pants, breaking the back buttons of Nik's suspenders in the process and revealing the top band of Nik's underwear.

Gene then leaped over the rail into the ranch to block Nik climbing out of the arena, when apparently he got the idea to give Nik a wedgy. Standing about 6'3" against Nik's about 5'5", Gene had little trouble leaning over Nik, grabbing hold of his shorts, and pulling, essentially suspended Nik in mid-air.

The black fabric of Nik's underwear stretched up his back nearly to the base of his shoulderblades. The leg-holes of Nik's underwear came so far up his backside that not just his butt cheeks but several inches above his butt cheeks were fully visible from the judge's stand. Nik hung helplessly, his body tense but not flailing for fear of serious injury to his private parts, his upward progress blocked by Gene's body.

Then Gene started bouncing Nik in his own shorts, revealing even more skin through the leg holes and covering more of Nik's back. Nik's future as a potential father was only saved by the start of the Rescue Relay race. This time the warriors really did rescue someone.

1 comment:

  1. I am SOOOOO sorry I missed that!
    Jeffalo Bill

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